That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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