My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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