Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
