After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
