you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
