Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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