You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
