on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
