I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize