so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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