yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize