is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
