Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
