you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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