Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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