I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
