So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
