their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
