he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
