Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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