He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
