so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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