my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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