is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
