can u get pink eye on your cock?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize