Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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