the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
