Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I touched a dick in church today
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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