I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize