CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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