Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
