yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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