this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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