Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
