I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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