You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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