Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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