im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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