apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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