He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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