You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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