its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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