I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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