Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
