your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
