I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this will be a night to untag.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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