I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just pee around me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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