do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize