Are we in a gay sports bar?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize