I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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