my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
