What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
