I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The Olympian is in my bed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
