he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have already put on my inside pants.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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