Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
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When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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