Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
