You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
