Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
