ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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