Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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