He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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