Pregnant stripper...not hot.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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