does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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