i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
