If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
