Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize