I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
