i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
