If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
