obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The best revenge is premature balding
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
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The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
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I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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